I saw a vision of myself climbing behind a lectern in front of a wide audience, who gazed at me as a guru with a Mystic Spiritual Journey Backstory – an image which had appealed to me greatly. But then I cleared my throat, turned to the blackboard and in a bright rainbow brush, painted the words I DON’T KNOW. “Do you understand?” I asked them all in between giggles. “I have nothing to teach you. I am an idiot. I am unenlightened. I am a child. I am the one who has come here to learn.”
I regularly experience insecurity, fear, confusion, and fragility… I am tremblingly human, with a fat sense of self in a very real-feeling character that claws at the world in awkward attempts at self preservation. Don’t listen to me, nothing I say is true. Don’t look to me, I am nothing. Place me where you want me; you are the arbiter of truth, for what can you say of me that is not true?
I’m learning in public.
Read more about personal wikis.